The Canadian government in its great wisdom has launched and funded a study to determine if “Working Dogs” in the North are mistreated. So in line with this study we here at the Sportsmen’s Camp News Bureau (SCNB) have decided to blow the top off of this story by publishing this startling expose of the subject.
The SCNB made the arduous journey to the site of the animal torture. We took a full crew as well as boats and a helicopter. We were duty bound to leave no stone unturned – but we were soon to learn there were a lot of stones in northern Ontario!
Our subject was Kevin a small Tibetan Terror who is forced to “help” his “daddy” EVERY DAY – DAY IN – DAY OUT!!! From dusk (sometimes waking as early 12:30 after noon) to the wee hours of the morn! His always mistreated – some times he goes 2 to 4 minutes without his “daddy” telling him how much “daddy loves him”!!! Oh the humanity!!!! I am shocked and dismayed that the SPCA has not grasped onto the enormity of this abuse and wanton mistreatment! It brings a tear to this reporter’s eye just recounting the facts of this heinous case! But back to the report.
Kevin is roughly awakened by his daddy slipping out of bed ~ noon. The incessant slapping of daddy’s flip flops echo’s through the house. The poor beast’s torturer makes the diabolical evil noises constantly whilst watering the garden and the bonsai collection. By this time the torment of the noise has brutally brought poor Kevy to a startled waking state – poor doggie! Next the evil “daddy” forces poor Kevy to march to the lake and clear the area of snow shoe hares and ground hogs! All this patrolling and chasing to selflessly protect his tormentor! All this running has needlessly over-heated and now threatens the life of poor Kevin with insipient HEAT STROKE! There is only one option for the poor beast.
He is forced to plunge into the icy maelstrom of a lake in the far north! Look at the tortured look on this poor doggie’s face!
Soon he is shivering and must run wildly about to avoid HYPOTHERMIA! After attending to the water system and starting the diesel Kevin is forced to refuse substandard breakfast food sometimes turning down bacon that was FRIED TOO CRISPY!!!!
By this time guests are coming to the store and Kevin is forced roughly to greet each one! (I only saw him snarl and bare his teeth to all of them.) After they have been greeted Kevin must keep a watchful eye on things to be sure that nothing untoward occurs.
Now the unthinkable occurs – Kevin’s chief tormenter – The Evil Janeeto from the planet Janetron (mommy) awakens in another FOUL MOOD! She is mean and nasty and makes a point to not tell him more than a dozen times what a good boy he is!!!!
It is decided by his tormentors that today poor Kevy will be “water boated”!
Kevin makes a valiant escape attempt but is thwarted by mommy asking him to get in the boat.
Abducted and forced to endure a rough passage sometimes not even being petted – see photographic evidence above – he makes his way with mommy and daddy to the prime fishing grounds.
After stopping Kevin is forced to sit on a small isolated seat enduring minutes of boredom until The Evil One catches one of many fish.
Poor Kevin enjoys a few seconds of respite as The Evil One concentrates on torturing a different victim!
And what does Kevin care if Mommy points at a parent loon with two fat healthy babies!
When does the carnage end? These poor fish were taken from the water and mocked by photographing their misery before they were summarily consigned to the deep. Only Kevin may be able to understand their plight!
After returning back to the gulag Kevin is forced once again to endure possible hypothermia as well as running about to clear the area of vicious snow shoe hares!
For the rest of the day its forced work — shutting off the water tank, keeping squirrels out of the shop as daddy works (forced to lay in saw dust!) (freshly sawn aromatic cedar saw dust!), menace intruders (guests) and other tasks far too numerous and onerous to list here. One thing is sure though the day always ends…
when exhaustion sets in from being constantly driven to his physical limit! Kevin is forced to clear his own area on a dilapidated old couch in front of a south facing window that puts a debilitating draft onto him. The poor boy is so selfless that he even attempts to console the the partially dismembered fox toy!
That’s it dear reader the expose is complete another scoop from the SCNB
– Like FOX “We distort, you abide.”