The Vault is Opened

In addition to my busy schedule I am the curator/librarian of the north’s greatest collection of single malt whiskeys. After a long day of reconfiguring the camp’s water system involving some swimming and lots of plumbing and wiring I was exhausted to the point of having several vodka tonics and some wine with Pat and Carol and good friends that I consider my family. It was a long day but after supping on perhaps the finest meal on earth (Janet’s meatloaf and baked potatoes) I still had much to do – I promised an inventory of the Scotch (whiskey) Library. So Now in my exhausted state I sit down at the keyboard after the unsealing of the vault and inventory and realize I don’t have the capacity to alphabetize the list! (its the wine I posit) So dear reader here it is in its unvarnished state. It may also be the fact that the vault’s low oxygen atmosphere got the best of me.

Laphroaig 1/4 cask 100%

Laphroaig 10 yr 25%

Glenlivet 75% and 50% (2 bottles)

Aberlour 12 yrs 100% and 25% (2 bottles)

Aberfeldy 12 yr 50%

Bowmore 12 yr 50% and 50% (2 bottles)

Glen Farclas 16 yr the royal dram (veddy special)

Jura superstition 75%

Haig Club 50%

Glen Breton Canadian single malt 10 yr 50%

Caol Ila 12 yr 75%

Speyburn 10 yr 60%

Dun Bheagan 20%

Talisker 10 yr 75%

Singleton 12 yr 90%

McClellands 12 yr 80%

Dalwhinnie 15 yr 70% (not to be confused with Melony’s sweet doggy)

Dewar’s 15 yr 90%

Yamazaki 12 yr Yummy oops 2 bottles 60% and 20%

Glenkinchie 12 yr 75%

Macallan 12yr 20% (the mfing Queen of scotches – in dire straights of being eliminated)

Balvenie 14yr 80% and 12 yr 90%  (2 bottles)

Ardbeg 14 yr 10% a truly horrid iodiney  scotch loved by some (not me) in dire straights of elimination. But we have to maintain it as a low end bench mark!!!!

Edradour 10 yr 40% (no one has any chance of obtaining this unicorn of scotches) But it is rough as a tarry kerosene with a really ghastly after taste so why would they!

Glenmorangie 12yr 40% and Quinta Ruban 70% (2 bottles)

Tomatin 12 yr 90% and 90% a truly pedestrian scotch but what the Hell its better than bourbon.

Scapa 16yr 10% this is a great scotch that need to be replenished as when ever the Library is inventoried It magically loses volume!!???

Highland Park 18 yr YUM 90% But one can never have enough Highland Park YUM

Highland Park Dark Origins (Luke I am your Father) great but its darkside and this is not the scotch you are seeking.

Auchentoshan 12 yr 75%

Glen Morag 12 yr 80%

Glen Rothles 60%

That’s what I moved about and inventoried before I became insensate.

Janet once remarked “What the hell are you going to do with all that CRAP liquor?? You’re gonna die and it’ll all go to the dump! Nobody wants to drink that crap that’s why it just builds up here like so much flotsam building up in a logjam!” Keeping that in mind and not wanting to burden her in the advent of my demise – we don’t need more scotches. (Unless they’re really cool – she’s making me say this) I am sort of looking at it like this, I expect that the Library will be on the table at my wake and I expect all the attendees will do their very best to make sure that Janet doesn’t have to cart any of this “CRAP” home. And everyone will take a cab home. But I will as a ghost have nothing against anyone not drinking the Ardberg – unless Mike shows up.

In any case if anyone shows up at the lodge with a mind to sample the collection I will be very happy to direct you to the location of the bottles in the vault and be happy to watch them cart the bottles out to the table AND TAKE THEM BACK after a tasting.

Ok That chore is done – We went out on the Abomination last eve for an evening cruise with Joan and Janet fishing occasionally. It was a little slow but several fish were caught for a fish dinner for several people. We are now laboring in the “mayfly” hatch time with the green drakes last night and the slates are still holding back. That’s bad because we want the mayflies to hatch as one to minimize their negative impact on fishing. But alas our wants are not always reality and this paradigm allows more of the fly biomass to be assimilated by the fish in the lake to their long term benefit. Its a good thing when we can step back and say this is for the long term good even though it has a negative impact on our immediate desires – isn’t lovely to be an adult?

I know there are no pictures in this blog its because I am too drunk to pull the card from the magic picture box and do the requisite incantations necessary to post them! Hey I wrote a MFing blog give me a break, it was a long day. But wait – is this heaven? No it’s Sportsmen’s Cam—–Nooo its heaven. Yeah really HEAVEN.

6 thoughts on “The Vault is Opened

  1. I’m with Janet, who needs Scotch when there is Gin and Vodka! How is that inventory?

    Glad to hear (selfishly) that the mayfly hatch is going on now, should be done by the time we get there. Do the walleye and pike eat mayflies? Do the other lakes in the area have similar hatches, and are they at the same time? Were you ever successful with a “match the hatch” fly?

  2. We have a pretty good amount of Vodka but the Gin is right out – a couple handles of good gin would work.

    Everything eats mayflies – pike and walleye mostly as the nymphs are subsurface immediately prior to emergence. Bass nail them at any point. Yep all the lakes in the area have hatches at similar times but several factors serve to mitigate numbers and timing to some degrees. Yes I have several flies that were tied for me that approximates pre-emergent, emergent and dead on the surface green and slate drakes. They work well — many years back I caught more than 10 bass over 17″ in an afternoon to evening! No shit.

  3. Love reading the inventory every summer. And I’ll note that if the Scotch tributez cease, and u add up all the yearz u have left to serve as steward of heaven on earth (Sportsmen’z Camp), then I would venture there won’t be much whiskey on display on that wake table. . .

  4. I an glad that the moniker of “Good Phil” has stuck. Barker/Ward clan preparing for our move north to Sportsmens.
    We wont bring scotch this year since none of us drink it happily. Will bring some of my nephews craft beer for consumption and rating. See you all in couple weeks.

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